Rant Post for the Week, Fuck It, Make it the Month

I really HATE it when folks e-mail me, especially when they are responding to me about something, and end the e-mail with ellipsis.  Discussion through writing can just be so damned ambigous anyway, but when any statement ends with . . ., it makes the point very hard to grasp, and in my opinion, intentionally so. The point of ellipsis are to indicate some omission of words or from an original text. So if I'm quoting some famous passage from a book in writing, I can use ellipsis rather than quote the whole damn thing.  But in e-mails, and most correspondence, that's not what folks use it for. Usually, folks use it to indicate a pause, or to trail off into silence. The thing that pisses me off is the "trail into silence" usage. In real life, when you are talking to someone, when do you trail into silence? Does it happen often? What does trailing off into silence, convey to the person you are talking to?

Example:

Shane-"Super, have you taken a shower this week."

Super-"Nah, was to busy rolling my fat ass in the mud."

Shane-"Sounds like something you should be proud off. . ."

So, is that fucker Shane complimenting me in that sequence? Of course not. So when somebody writes me an e-mail, and says "I see we still haven't sent out the marketing letters to the customers we discussed, this is an important issue. . ."  Basically I read it as, you didn't do your job asshole, and now I'm so disgusted with you I have to finish this thought with not ONE period, but THREE, so enjoy that, bitch.  I hate ellipsis because it allows folks to be passive aggressive, while writing. Isn't the whole point of writing to get some sort of point across? So, basically using ellipsis allows you to write, but totally ignore the function of writing by trailing off in silence. Am I the only one this bothers?

Doesn't it seem like my earlier example could be fixed by writing, "I see you've failed to send out the marketing letters I've requested so far, so please have them sent by Friday."   You know what I love about that last sentence, IT HAS A POINT. So this is my crying call out to all folks to not us ellipsis to end sentences, unless you truly are so disgusted with your reader that they deserve your silence. That makes sense, right? Here is what irritates me the most about ellipsis, when folks use them with me consistently, I get so profoundly frustrated with it that I start constantly ending all comunications with them, with ellipses, as well. Example:

"Joel, I see you left feces on your desk again, this could be considered a health issue. . ."

to which I respond,

"Couldn't agree more, I am disgusting. . . "

What makes the most frustrated it that I feel like t'm actually using those 3 dot fuckers correctly, but my passive aggressiveness is seen as a fucking invitation for that person to end EVERY SINGLE THING THEY SEND TO ME, with ellipsis. It gets hilarious for things like,

"The cookies you brought into the office were delicious. . ."

Seriously, those cookies were so fucking good they have knocked you into a silent stupor, man those fuckers must have been good.

But then I start being a real prick and ending them myself (in my head of course) with phrases like "but stabbing my wife was really not appreciated."

Anything that irritates you to the point where you become a five year old in dealing with it, is something I'm obviously not proud of, but I'm not seeing any resolution to this pet peeve any time soon. So here is my question, if you don't use ellipsis to express disgust, what do you use them for? I'm also amazed that folks use these multiple times in ONE correspondence. If you are talking to me in person, and I trail off into silence more than once, wouldn' t you have already hung up the phone/punched me in the face before I do it the 2nd time? I should note I'm completely complicit with the fact that many folks will be amazed this bothers me as much as it does, and I apologize if this rant comes of as more rude than most of mine do. But I'm amazed at how many folks I know use elipsis more instead of periods, and I just do not understand why. One final note, if this rant is directed at one person, it is my passive-aggresive fuck of a boss, and no one else. I know there are many folks who read this who will think this is directed at them, and I can promise it's not. But, and I sincerely mean this, if you honestly didn't know what ellipsis were for, or didn't realize how they come off(if only to my pissy ass), for the love of all that is chocolate, please stop using them for communications with me. Thank you.