Since I SUCKED at the other list

I'll be honest, Popular Mechanics can blow me (and where would THAT rate on their list) as I completely failed their Man Test, I think I could or had done 3-4 things on that list. There is the outside chance that in a pinch I could do 5-6 more, but that would depend upon my mood at the time. While I'm proud to read that many of my male friends are good at that stuff and am impressed they can do many of those things, I cannot. So, here are my top 25 things to guarantee manlihood (From Popular Soopcanics, issue 48)

1. Have a justifiable (and even possibly legal) reason to punch someone in the face, but hold back regardless.

2. Having your ass kicked as a result, is NOT one of the reasons you didn't punch the deserving fucker in #1.

3. Go to the Dentist, even though it terrifies you, and actually admit it terrifies you.

4. If you are at a friends house, and you go to get 3 requested beers, and only 1 beer is left, you take the beer. (why insult a host by offering them their last beer? it's just not done. If the other chump wanted it, his ass should have gotten up)

5. If you hunt, admit it's because you enjoy killing things or have a mild touch of bloodthirst. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't make up a bullshit answer about "it's sporting". You have a gun and a car, they have 4 legs, it's not a sport. Or better yet, don't hunt.

6. If you only watch your local sports teams when they win, be honest about it. One of the most annoying things are the planet are folks that are bandwagon jumpers who claim to have been there from the beginning.

7. Be gentle enough that a small child or pet could fall asleep in your lap, and feel proud of that.

8. Die Hard is one of your top favorite movies. This one should be fucking obvious.

9. Swear, a TON. How many mormons who refuse to swear a gonna end up in hell. Answer: TONS of them, so live it up, fucker!

10. Realize, if when you love to swear, when you are going over the top, and hold back. But not enough that it's obvious.

11. Win your fantasy league at any sport, at least once.

12. Take the 2 outer on the river that loses you enough money that it hurts, and realize you will be on the other hand at some point, and don't want to deal with some pissy crybaby you just beat. No one enjoys that. So suck it up and take the beat.

13. When you score a touchdown, don't celebrate, act like you've been there before. If you aren't one of the 1% elite that plays professional football, you can at least not support jackalopes who act like morons when they score, by not buying their jerseys or other products.

14. At some point, a referee, umpire or whatnot is screw your favorite team over, and make them lose. You have every right to be pissed for 5 minutes, then let it go. For the love of God, Don Denkinger made a zillion correct calls in his life, he doesn't need to keep hearing about the one bad one he made at the worst possible time.

15. Agree that #14 makes sense, but still feel like Don Denkinger was probably on the take or blew the call on purpose.  That's just not cool. And it was a bad example.

16. Slowrolling in anything (poker, board games, or any applicable sport) does not break any rules, and is not penalizable. But you should know better. If you think it's funny, it's because you are young, and eventually you'll realize what an asshole you were. Trust me.

17. Everyone likes to win at sports, but when you play for fun the score shouldn't matter. If you think it does, keep waiting for your trophy to arrive in the mail after winning every game at pickup hoops. It won't come.

18.  Do something completly stupid while playing sports, piss off everyone around you, but don't apologize. Realize you made a mistake, and just don't do it next time. That's all people really want, regardless of what they say.

19. Understanding that friends and family are one in the same.

20. Taking children for the little miracles they happen to be. Even when they do stupid shit, it just makes them more special. Enjoy that stupid shit.

21. Give people the credit they deserve for their accomplishments, and savor it when folks do the same for you. But don't ever feel like it necessary, because that cheapens the whole thing.

22. If someone does something find irritating, don't get back at them, by doing the same thing to them. Just tell them. It's way easier and may actually solve the issue, rather than just trying to fix it by "upping the dickhead factor".

23. Admit when you start a project you can't finish, and rather than half-ass the rest of it, just quit.